Merry Christmas

I have wanted to write a blog this entire season, but as always, I have been caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. This evening, Christmas Eve, I finally have a chance to write something. We all have heard the Christmas Story of God coming to live among us because he loved us SO much. The story is told everytime this year. I have always loved the Christmas Story, however, God pointed some things out to me in the story this year. The Shepherds. They are a major part of the Christmas story. The shepherds were the first ones to hear about the birth of Jesus. God could have chosen to reveal this to anyone, including kings, royalty, religious leaders, etc. Instead he chose shepherds. Why would anyone think this part is so important? Well, during the time when Jesus was born being a shepherd was a job no one wanted. To put it into modern day times, it would be like having a job that required you to be comitted to it 24 hours a day and live in the fields. To put it bluntly, no one wanted to be a shepherd. These guys were around sheep daily, they were smelly, had no families, and were considered to be the low man on the career ladder totem pole. Yet, these were the guys that God chose to first hear the news. In my mind, I imagine the scene to be like nothing out of the ordinary for these guys. Most of them were probably sitting around a fire keeping an eye out for any wild animal that wanted to take the sheep. Then, imagine if you could, an angel appearing and the Bible says the glory of the Lord shone around them. In my mind it seems that there was probably a bright light and then an angel suddenly appearing. Who wouldn't be afraid of that? Its the middle of the night and then all of the sudden there is a bright light with a strange being. That's terrifying! The next verse I love, in the book of Luke it says "But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people'." Isn't it amazing that God knew these shepherds would be afraid and that was not the message he wanted to send. I couldn't imagine having an angel deliver a message to me that was a direct part of God's unfailing love. Once the angel delivered his message, the Bible says heavenly host appeared and praised God. How cool would it have been to seen this birth announcement! The shepherds knew this was something worth looking into. They've spent numerous nights in the fields and had never experienced anything like this. Once they saw what the angels had told them, the shepherds told everyone what they had seen and experienced. They were not afraid of doing so! It makes you think why would God choose to reveal this wonderful announcement to the shepherds and not the religous leaders? God didn't come to just save the religous people. He came for us all! No matter what we've done, said, or how we might behave. He loves us so much that He sent his Son to die for us! When you think about this and just apply it to yourself it becomes unreal to think he would love me this much! As you enjoy the Christmas season, just remember the shepherds were the first to hear the wonderful news and that they told EVERYONE what they had seen and heard. God loved us so much, he sent his only Son for us all! Even for those that may have a job that no one of us would ever consider taking. Merry Christmas!!

Has anyone seen hope?

Lately I have had what would seem like continually road blocks thrown in my path. I have attempted numerous times to obtain a new position in the company I currently work for. My husband and I have been trying for months to get pregnant to no avail. Don't even get me started on getting pre-approved for a mortgage. My world lately has been filled with NO's from every side. So, I had begun to hold all my frustration in but once I hit my max it slowly begin to leak out. I started acting out towards my co-workers, family, and even strangers! I wasn't having major blowouts or throwing things. Nothing like that. My "acting out" came in the form of sarcastic responses, rolling my eyes, and overall my attitude. I had a bad attitude about work, school, and just life in general. I was throwing a 3 year old temper tantrum in the form of a 26 year old. As any good Christian would do, I begin to talk to, no let me rephrase that, tell God what I had going on and how it needed to be fixed. I had the "I know it all" attitude and wanted to let God in on my plan that I have for my life. I mean, really, who knows better than me what is best for my life, right? Yeah, well turns out I don't. Currently, as one of my extra classes I've had to take to fulfill some credits, I have been taking a Worldview class. These worldviews expand more than just Judaism, Islam, Hindu, etc. These worldview are more deism, naturalism, nihilism, etc. I don't want to spend all day explaining each one but a quick overview is that each of these views don't see God as being present in our lives or even present at all! WHAT?!?!? I crawled out from underneath my rock that I live in and allowed God to use this class to open my eyes to what goes on around me. These worldviews are literally hopeless. I mean you read what they believe and you feel so sad for them because there is no HOPE. So, fast forward a few weeks and I'm having a complete meltdown in the front yard. I mean this is one that once the waterworks started there was no stopping them. My husband and I are discussing some mortgage pre-approval things (grrrr...still not quite over that one yet) and the hopelessness feeling creeps right up on me. All of the sudden I remembered a verse in Lamentations that I had seen recently on my sister's computer. It was Lamentations 3: 19-31 "I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all-oh how well I remember-the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, i keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passtionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worse. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return." It says over and over in this verse that we have hope in God. We don't ask questions to God but wait in the quiet for the hope to appear. I've begun my waiting process because I know that my God will provide for me all my needs and that He is the one that brings the hope that I need.

Beliefs

I have two really awesome stepkids. I know there are not alot of people out there who can't say that about theirs and I feel extremely blessed to have these two amazing little people in my lives. Our relationship is not like a parent/child relationship which makes it even better because they feel more free to ask me questions and it usually happens. The other night after finishing our dinner, the three of us (me, my stepson, and stepdaughter) started to have a conversation about what we believed when it came to our faith. These are the conversations that I have always felt would help direct them into a firm foundation on their beliefs. As a side note, my husband's ex-wife is Seventh Day Adventist which is pretty different from what he and I were both raised, which was Baptist. So, we've always made the kids aware of what we believe and why we believe it and don't try to force it down their throats to accept it this way. Back to the after dinner conversation, my stepdaughter asked me which day is the correct day to go to church. I explained to her why we went to church on Sunday versus Saturday and why I felt this way. One thing led to another and before I knew it both of the kids were just throwing all kinds of questions out there. To listen in on our conversation would probably sound chaotic and stressful because as soon as I answered one question there was another. However, throughout ALL of it, I could answer each question confidently and give them the guidance they were looking for. It was the most AMAZING experience I have ever had with talking about my beliefs. I can honestly say I have never had a conversation like that one that left me in goosebumps knowing that the Holy Spirit is at work with these two kids. Its always scary to talk about your beliefs with someone but after having a simple conversation with an 10 year old and 8 year old, I find myself not afraid anymore to talk to others about my beliefs. I thank God for allowing me to see such an opportunity right there in front of me and pray that He will continue to show me other opportunities.

A new blogger

Ok, so I've always heard about people blogging and have even read a few blogs here and there. I've thought about starting my own blog and to take a quote from Julie & Julia "I could write a blog, I have thoughts". After sitting down numerous times to try and get one started, this time just felt like the right time. Since this is my first blog I'll keep it short but I feel like I need to explain my choice in the title of this blog. I went with this title because on a daily basis my "title" changes. It goes from wife, stepmom, sister, shopaholic, control freak, employee, student, etc. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to fit into a cookie mold either and with having an open ended title for my blog it fits my personality better. Over the next few weeks I will dive deeper into my life and what all it involves. Until then....